From me to you

To my beautiful children: 

Do you know how much I love you?  Do you realize what I would not do for you?  Probably not at this early stage in your lives.  My heart is overflowing with joy and thankfulness that God has blessed me and your dad with your little hearts to care for.  We are so not worthy, and you will see us mess up so many times.  Forgive us, please?  Don't expect us to have all the answers- because WE DON'T!  You are a precious gift to us, and we value the times that we get to spend with you.  

Tickling your toes, scrubbing your heads with watermelon shampoo and making you laugh from the bubbles, playing superhero or baby dolls, building massive amounts of forts on the deck or in the living room, watching your favorite movie over and over again, or reading your favorite books over and over again till the words are ingrained in all our minds! ("My name is Skippito Friskito") :-)  

Even if there is ketchup stuck to the inside of the refrigerator, or battery operated toys thrown in the tub water, dirty socks behind your beds, sippy cups from here to kingdom come, I thank God that He has given me the privilege of bringing you into this world and caring for you! 

Your smiles are infectious and your love for me and Dad warms me from the inside out.  I may seem tired and stressed at the end of the day, but I will always make time for you.  When you are older and not quite as cuddly, I will still want to know everything about you and learn and grow with you, trusting that you will feel that you can come to us with anything that your heart is experiencing at any given time.  

Through all the stages of growing and developing that are in store for you, I know God has a plan to draw you closer to Him, and for that I pray every day that your hearts are soft towards Him.  Soft towards His great love, and the relationship He yearns to have with you.  You were formed and created beautifully by Him, the Grand Master of the Universe!  And His love for you far outweighs anything that Dad and I can show you. 

So if you see our faults and our mistakes, know that we are also clinging to the love that our Father shows us in spite of who we are, and the mistakes that we fail to make day-in and day-out.  Because of His grand design in sending His Son for you and for us, we have a hope that we will spend eternity with Him because of what He has accomplished for us.  And that is my prayer for you as well.  Grow into the man and woman that God desires for you to be.  Seek Him with all your heart, trust that in His INFINITE wisdom, He knows and has your very best interests at heart.  

You are my sunshine, and you make me happy just thinking about your little personalities and I am excited to see what God will do in and through you!  All my love to you my Matthew-peanut and Emmy-bear! 

Love, Mommy 

Who cares?

Similar to my last posting about my house being messy... another concept I am coming to grips with recently has been that it just does not matter what other people say or think.  What matters is my relationship with my Heavenly Father, and what HE thinks about my choice of actions.  Or when it comes to my relationship with my husband or kids, again it matters what my Father says.  People pleasing has always been something I struggle with.  As I've grown older, and I have now gotten married and had a couple children, my life sometimes feels like a crazy mess... but it's the crazy mess that God is again working on and chiseling to make me into the woman, wife and mother that He wants me to be.  In the end, when I stand before my Maker, the voices and thoughts of others will not be what He is concerned with.  That's comforting!  Because I really do not have it altogether, and Keith & I are LEARNING every day what it means to be married and to parent our children into the little people God wants them to be.  

Life is messy, it's hard, it's filled with heartaches and disappointments.  But life is also filled with God's fingers weaving together a tapestry that I can't see the big picture of.  He knows the bigger picture- and it is that where I find contentment and peace.  As someone close once told me, Joseph, while he was in Potiphar's prison, could not see the bigger picture, he was alone, possibly cold and hungry, sitting in a prison cell for something that he did not do.  Yet, God, in his INFINITE wisdom, knew the end result.  So, for all the heartaches, hardships and disappointments, I know that God is working in our hearts to mold us and shape us into His Son.  Each of our journeys is different.  What God calls me to do, day by day and moment by moment, is to walk with Him, develop my friendship with Him and choose to walk in the truth that He has shown me.  Do I mess up?  ABSOLUTELY.  I fight with my husband, I yell at my kids, I am selfish, I choose my own ways so many times.  But in my moments of weakness... I find the strength of my Father, picking me up, showing me "Elyssa, stop trying to please everyone else, you are not perfect, you are going to stumble, but I am showing you more of myself through your mistakes and failures".  God's plans are not my plans, His thoughts are not my thoughts. So I am comforted with: 

"Have patience, God isn't finished yet"

Philippians 1:6 

An older picture of them, but I love their adorable smiles in it- and it makes me happy to look at!